Thursday, April 10, 2014

NEEHU 5: Day Five (Monday and Wrapup)

(Note: I recycled the intro material from my NEEHU 4 posts, because hey, intro material is intro material.)

I returned from NEEHU5, the Fifth Annual New England Erotic Hypnosis (Un)Conference Monday night. It was four of the best days in recent memory and certainly high up on the list of best four-day periods of my life. :) As much for my own recollection as for those who may be interested in the event (tl;dr: GO TO THE NEXT ONE AND ALL THE ONES AFTER THAT. JUST DO IT.) I present this highly subjective account of the experience.

This gets long so I am breaking it up by days.

Please note that while I will usually skip this part in the interest of, well, interest, before I tranced ANYBODY, I did the prudent thing and asked, appropriate to context, about injuries, triggers, etc, etc. Hypnosis is safe and effective and ridiculously fun but you do need to take care with it as with any activity.

Please also note that if I am not naming you as a subject or someone who said or did something, it is because I do not know if you want me to identify you. If I am mentioning you but not naming you, it means I thought you were interesting enough to mention but am not entirely certain that you wanted to be so you will remain anonymous. This absolutely includes people who may be mentioned by name otherwise but who I did not want to associate with a particular situation without clearance.

Monday

Monday morning it was time for one last breakfast together. Last year, I scheduled my flight out for Sunday evening, not realizing that the after-party is one of the highlights of the event. Didn't make that mistake again this year, but oh, wow did I not want to get up Monday morning. Not only did that mean NEEHU was over, but I was flippin' exhausted. Wonder how that happened?

Anyway, there are two flights a day from Hartford to Chicago: The Way Too Early Flight, and the Way Too Late Flight. I took Way Too Early to NEEHU and Way Too Late home. (Although with the time change it was just Sorta Too Late by the time I got home.) So my flight out wasn't until almost 8PM.

We went to breakfast and said our until-next-times (I don't like saying "goodbye." I often substitute a phrase I learned in Glory Road, which it is alleged the Inuit use: "Sometime again." Or just the French "au revoir.") And, of course, upon reaching the breakfast area, learned that it had snowed multiple inches of snow even though it was THE LAST DAY OF MARCH what the Hell, Connecticut? Fortunately it was already melting and I think everybody got out okay. MsM's flight wasn't until 3 and mine was not until much later: by then the snow was almost gone and the airport was just chuggin' along.

After just hanging about in the hotel until checkout time, we got MsMesmer off to the airport and I went and hung out with a really amazing NEEHU attendee who also happens to live in the area. The afternoon flew by as fast as the rest of NEEHU, and was just as cool for being a time to enjoy the company of a single person who's really great. They got me to the airport on time even though I really, really did not want to go, and before I knew it I was back in Chicago. After barely avoiding killing some unbearable brats who thought 10PM was a FINE time to have an impromptu singalong and gymnastic tournament on the airport tram, I was home safe and sound and promptly fell into bed and passed out.

I can't wait to do it again.

Incidental thanks:

HypnoTy, for trust and hotness.

SweetGasp, who really is a wonderful chef (I thought she might be all talk… just kidding ;) mmmmm beignets!) and whose eye makeup was really striking and cool. I almost said "captivating," but I think that was the idea. :)

Pynchon, for being so much fun. (I guess that is funny.) And for the amazing scene he shared with MsMesmer.

LeeAnn, for being my foil, and Crazytrain, for putting up with her. ;)

Lee Allure, for general amazingness.

Hypnomaestro, for saving me a LOT of bother, and being super-cool.

DaSade and cc (and sleepingirl) for rides when I needed them, coming to lunch, and USB cables.

And, ever and always, Mephki, for being her and doing what she does. *squeezes and skritches*

Thanks for reading… see you at MEEHU!

NEEHU 5: Day Four (Sunday)

(Note: I recycled the intro material from my NEEHU 4 posts, because hey, intro material is intro material.)

I returned from NEEHU5, the Fifth Annual New England Erotic Hypnosis (Un)Conference Monday night. It was four of the best days in recent memory and certainly high up on the list of best four-day periods of my life. :) As much for my own recollection as for those who may be interested in the event (tl;dr: GO TO THE NEXT ONE AND ALL THE ONES AFTER THAT. JUST DO IT.) I present this highly subjective account of the experience.

This gets long so I am breaking it up by days.

Please note that while I will usually skip this part in the interest of, well, interest, before I tranced ANYBODY, I did the prudent thing and asked, appropriate to context, about injuries, triggers, etc, etc. Hypnosis is safe and effective and ridiculously fun but you do need to take care with it as with any activity.

Please also note that if I am not naming you as a subject or someone who said or did something, it is because I do not know if you want me to identify you. If I am mentioning you but not naming you, it means I thought you were interesting enough to mention but am not entirely certain that you wanted to be so you will remain anonymous. This absolutely includes people who may be mentioned by name otherwise but who I did not want to associate with a particular situation without clearance.

Sunday

Waking up Sunday is always a little sad, as you know it means things are almost over (although this year I did stay until Monday.) As we were late getting up, breakfast was a hurried affair and then back to the Society for chair duty.

As I mentioned in earlier posts, I had no classes to teach Sunday, so I mostly just hung out talking to people, especially at the vendor table. I also helped cover the registration table off and on all three days, which is always fun. I like to make things interesting so my "here's how you mark your badge" spiel was… a little more colorful, let's say, than most people's who were working the desk. :)

One of my favorite hypno-people was also giving their graduate recital Sunday afternoon, and I made the tough choice to duck out a little early so I could go and support them. The music was just lovely and I think I may have made an impression as I remained in full Evil Hypnotist regalia for my attendance. But the important thing is that they were wonderful and I was so pleased for them.

Then I managed to meet everybody back at the restaurant for the after-party. The food was good and the conversation was great, a good time was had by all. I had to leave a bit early to run back to the Society and pick up some stuff which had been left there for sorting, with DaSade once again saving the day by letting me and Hypnomaestro in to get my stuff. Then back to the hotel for a prearranged scene with not one but two lovely subjects and oh, my, that was fun. They know who they are, they know what they did. [Insert evil laughter here.] "Now switch!"

After that, we went up to the con suite for the after-party. Leadprism had a sound/light machine we played with, which was fun even though we had no manual. :) And I demonstrated to LeeAnn that she could in fact drop so fast and so hard that she literally needed to be caught. She came a long way in just three days! (Thanks, Daja, for having my back.) And I just wouldn't be me if I hadn't left at least one time bomb ticking in somebody's head. You know who you are… I hope you slept well. ;)


Next: Monday and Wrapup.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

NEEHU 5: Day Three (Saturday)

(Note: I recycled the intro material from my NEEHU 4 posts, because hey, intro material is intro material.)

I returned from NEEHU5, the Fifth Annual New England Erotic Hypnosis (Un)Conference Monday night. It was four of the best days in recent memory and certainly high up on the list of best four-day periods of my life. :) As much for my own recollection as for those who may be interested in the event (tl;dr: GO TO THE NEXT ONE AND ALL THE ONES AFTER THAT. JUST DO IT.) I present this highly subjective account of the experience.

This gets long so I am breaking it up by days.

Please note that while I will usually skip this part in the interest of, well, interest, before I tranced ANYBODY, I did the prudent thing and asked, appropriate to context, about injuries, triggers, etc, etc. Hypnosis is safe and effective and ridiculously fun but you do need to take care with it as with any activity.

Please also note that if I am not naming you as a subject or someone who said or did something, it is because I do not know if you want me to identify you. If I am mentioning you but not naming you, it means I thought you were interesting enough to mention but am not entirely certain that you wanted to be so you will remain anonymous. This absolutely includes people who may be mentioned by name otherwise but who I did not want to associate with a particular situation without clearance.

Saturday

We headed over to the Society and started setting up: we had already done most of the chairs in the big classroom when I got a text from Mephki: "Remember no chairs in big classroom until after first class." Turned out there was a hypno-yoga class in there first thing. *facepalm* So we got that straightened out.

I had three classes to teach. Somehow all my classes got scheduled for the same day. So I did my Hypnosis and Humor class, which was a big hit. We talked about reacting to situations with humor, not only because it's good for you, but because it builds rapport. There are few faster ways to build rapport with someone than to laugh with them! Also, we talked about involuntary laughter and its use in hypnotic suggestion and induction, and many funny stories were told. So that was great.

Next was my Writing/Publishing Erotic Hypnosis class, which had a pretty small turnout, all of whom were more interested in independent publishing in general than in how to write hypnosis erotica or non-fiction, so we spent the whole class talking about that. I like to think that some good information got spread. :) I will probably "retire" that class for an EHU cycle or two as most of the people who've wanted it have had it. Thanks to Wiseguy and special guest/attendee Jukebox for their wonderful input.

Finally came my "Come Play With Me" Hypnosis and Pop Culture class, which was really fun when I debuted it at WEEHU and was likewise a blast here. I opened with my "Coin of Gold" clip from Scooby-Doo, which always gets a lot of reminiscing smiles as the evil clown hypnotizes Daphne… and you wonder what happened after the break. I didn't have "plants" in the audience this time, so I just went through my outline and we talked about using pop culture memes and themes to create, enhance, and guide hypnotic play and fantasy. Dr. Headcrash was in attendance and had some good insights, as did many other wonderful participants. Thank you all from stopping me just standing at the front of the room and yammering for an hour. (Which I am perfectly okay with doing, but it's more fun when we all participate.)

Then we had some marvelous BBQ ribs courtesy of the Mephki and her kitchen wizards. Fantastic. You never go hungry at NEEHU! (Or any EHU, if Mephki is involved.)

As far as the play party, I was pretty tired and not feeling very motivated, so mostly I hung around and talked. Lots of interesting people with lots of interesting things to say and hear at NEEHU, and if you don't feel like doing anything… well, there's always something to see. I did help a promising young hypnotist do some basic stuff with a really marvelous subject, which I hope he appreciated. He was even humble enough to ask me to hypnotize him before they started so he could get a good feel for what it was like. (He'd been hypnotized for the first time himself only that day, and it had not been a deep trance since he was trying to pay attention and learn at the same time.) So kudos to him.

The things he could do with her were frankly above his skill level in some respects (though he was very good for his experience) but she was so amazing that he got a huge confidence boost just from watching it work. I participated for a while and then kept a discreet eye on them while they played and it went fine.

A few other anecdotes regarding Saturday:

I should note that at one point I had done a pretty rapid induction on LeeAnn (I honestly can't remember if it was Friday or Saturday) and done my "stuck" trick, where I just took her hand and "stuck" it to the arm of the couch she was sitting on. She tried to lift it… and of course could not.

After she tried, she said, "Sometimes I get the feeling in the back of my mind that 'Oh, I could lift it, I just don't want to, I'm just playing along.'"

I said, and this is the honest truth, "Oh, that's very common. But shall I show you something?"

She just nodded with a little apprehension.

In a very friendly but assertive voice, I said, "Hey! Little voice way down in the back of LeeAnn's head who thinks you're just playing along! Listen up! You think you can move your hand? Let's see you try. Lift it up!"

She strained, and her palm lifted a little… but then she couldn't lift any more.

THEN her eyes got wide.

"Oh my God," she said, "You neenered* me! Nobody neeners me! I'd get up and walk through fire if somebody neenered me and you did it and I can't lift my hand!"

"Well," I replied. "This is an interesting development. Maybe you weren't just playing along after all."

"I guess not…"

"Nope. And think about this. I just told you you were stuck, and you were. I challenged you to unstick yourself and you couldn't. *dramatic pause* What else do you think I could make you do if I wanted?"

Big, big eyes.

"Okay. I just wanted you to think about that." *snap* "You're free."

Her hand popped up and I started talking about something else.

I'm such a tease.

Anyway, at dinner, LeeAnn, who is famous for having a beer or two in HypBook chat as the evening progresses, was lamenting that alcohol is not allowed at the Society. She explained that she likes to just have two beers and it loosens her up a bit and she enjoys herself more, which is perfectly understandable. Apparently, one of the hypnotists she works with even knows when she's had her two beers and, upon recognizing it, will greet her as "Two-Beer LeeAnn."

I said, "Do you want your two beers?"

Her eyes got big and she looked at her glass of water. "If you're going to turn this into beer, somebody already tried that."

"I don't want to give you beer. I want you to have had two beers. Do you want 'em or not?"

Doubtful expression. "Yeahhhhhh…"

*About two minutes later.*

"Wow, that's amazing! How did you do that?"

"I told you, I didn't want to give you beer. I wanted you to have had two beers. How do you feel?"

"Great! Like… I've had two beers."

"You're welcome."

Later...

Pynchon had asked about doing a Doctor Who scene with MsMesmer, and I thought she'd love that so I had given her some post-hypnotic suggestions to set it up. Eventually we "bumped into" each other. He was cosplaying the War Doctor and he did look smashing. I think I saw several people drooling.

As usual, I just couldn't resist the chance to be a ham. Even though it was their scene and I know she enjoyed it very much at one point this happened:

Basically the Doctor and the Corsair were exploring human sexuality at a fetish club. (Go figure.) At one point she said, "I wonder why the humans like to tie each other up like that?" So they decided to "try" it. He didn't have any rope so he came over to me and asked me if I did. (I was just standing around watching them and some other very hot scenes that were happening in the same room.)

I immediately went into scenery-chewing mode, assumed sort of a strange mixed accent and said, "Rope? Maybe…"

"Do you think I could, ah, borrow it?"

I said, "Oh, for a fellow like you, it can be arranged. You'll owe me a favor."

His eyes narrowed and he said, "I THOUGHT I recognized you. Fine, fine. A favor for a favor."

I pulled a piece of rope I had in my pocket (I had been going to play a joke on somebody with it) and said, "Here it is. It's more than it seems. Double it up and it'll bind to itself. A simple knot would hold a bull. But anybody who's inside the loop can't unbind it."

He smiled and nodded. "Just the stuff I was wishing I had."

"You know the Shadow Proclamation's not too keen on that stuff in this here/now, right?" *wink*

"Oh, it'll be fine, it'll be fine. Thanks."

And off he went. After they were done with their scene, he and I started playing with sonic screwdrivers and induced a standing wave in somebody. (Of course I had my own sonic screwdriver. I have ALL the sonic screwdrivers.) I'll let you guess where the nodes were.

We both totally got down and rolled around in it, it was so much fun. We're asking each other for settings and comparing power sources, turning controls, and so forth. (Incidentally he is amazing with the sonic screwdrivers. He looked just like The Doctor, flipping it, spinning it, shaking it, banging it on things. Hilarious.)

At one point I said, "I've only got about six years left on this. You?"

He said, "At least ten."

Some smartass bystander said that didn't sound like that long for fancy tech and I said indignantly, "That's six years at continuous maximum power output. And I haven't changed the battery lately. Don't sass me."

But anyway, the poor thing was stuck in the wave interaction between the two screwdrivers. And just as the wave started to build the screwdrivers went out of phase. Tragic. Then when we got them back in phase a temporal anomaly spun through and she got stuck at just under breakthrough for like an hour. At least it felt that way to her in the field.

Pynchon and I should probably NOT be allowed to play together.

Next: Sunday!

*I understood exactly what this meant as the phrase is one I heard growing up. For those of you not familiar with it, a particularly common childish taunt in the US is "Neener neener neener!" As in, "You can't catch me, I'm too tricky, neener neener neener!"


Saturday, April 5, 2014

NEEHU 5: Day Two (Friday)

(Note: I recycled the intro material from my NEEHU 4 posts, because hey, intro material is intro material.)

I returned from NEEHU5, the Fifth Annual New England Erotic Hypnosis (Un)Conference Monday night. It was four of the best days in recent memory and certainly high up on the list of best four-day periods of my life. :) As much for my own recollection as for those who may be interested in the event (tl;dr: GO TO THE NEXT ONE AND ALL THE ONES AFTER THAT. JUST DO IT.) I present this highly subjective account of the experience.

This gets long so I am breaking it up by days.

Please note that while I will usually skip this part in the interest of, well, interest, before I tranced ANYBODY, I did the prudent thing and asked, appropriate to context, about injuries, triggers, etc, etc. Hypnosis is safe and effective and ridiculously fun but you do need to take care with it as with any activity.

Please also note that if I am not naming you as a subject or someone who said or did something, it is because I do not know if you want me to identify you. If I am mentioning you but not naming you, it means I thought you were interesting enough to mention but am not entirely certain that you wanted to be so you will remain anonymous. This absolutely includes people who may be mentioned by name otherwise but who I did not want to associate with a particular situation without clearance.

Friday

We were SUPPOSED to be at the space by nine for setup, so I set alarms, and after a slow start we made it to breakfast. Where our fearless leader was nowhere to be seen, so we ate and hung around until it was time to go. We got to the Society and there was the adorable confessor_k, aka Kahlan, who I had been talking to online for quite some time. It was so nice to actually meet her! And contrary to her concerns, she did NOT instantly fall into a trance upon meeting me. (See, Kahlan? You worry too much.)

We started setting up (Chairs! So many chairs! They haunt my dreams.) At one point during setup, I got as close to homoerotic play as I have to date, much to sleepingirl's delight. (She squee'd at me.) I swear, I was just steadying him. Really. But it worked and we were a regular Setupnado.

Blanket forts (Hypnomaestro brought a box of my old photography props including many fabrics and blankets) and food and chairs and so forth. Also, we set up the sales table, which Skyla and D did most of the work on all weekend. Thank you so much! Skyla had lovely handmade chain mail fascinators and jewelry which I know several people really liked. If you like that kind of thing, you should definitely ask her about it. I had books, as did Wiseguy (as usual, he sold out, I did not) and I also had some lighty-up toys, which DID sell out much to my amazement. It didn't hurt, I bet, that MsMesmer was standing there playing with one for quite a lot of the con. :)

I didn't have any classes to teach Friday, so I mostly just hung about. I used my hypno-glue on a few people, heh heh heh. Including LeeAnn from Hypbook, who arrived and whose eyes, except when totally closed, never got less than about five inches across. Talk about jumping in at the deep end! I think the most common statement I heard her making all weekend was, "I can't believe that worked!" She is just as bubbly and fun and deceptively insightful in person as she is online, to no one's surprise. Her husband, who was jumping from even higher into even deeper water, was also a very nice fellow and a pleasure to talk to. He was very open and accepting and really seemed to enjoy learning, which is all a pontificator like me can ask for in a person. So well done the both of you.

Although I had no scheduled classes, there was a two-hour time slot for mentored trance practice. I love showing off, so I decided to go to that. I met a lovely couple who were new to kink in general and hypnosis in particular and we had a long talk with demonstrations and practice. They both did great and I am sure they will have a lot of loving fun with the new tools they are acquiring. I was particularly taken with the insight that one of them had: they weren't comfortable with hitting their partner, but the partner was interested in discipline, at least to some degree. So I showed them how you could use hypnotic suggestion to cause the feelings of physical discipline without actually having to hit them and fear causing them injury or excessive pain. A simple hand clap can become a nice smack on the ass, and the person's brain will automatically make it just the right intensity for what they want and need in that moment. If you can use a person's mind against them in a consensual way, do it! Not only is it great evil fun, it lets them fill in the gaps and ambiguities with their own preferences and everybody enjoys it even more.

I was so busy talking and hanging out I didn't get to the line for dinner until it was down to the dregs, but I still had some nice food :) and then it was time to run back to the hotel to get ready for the party. I like showing off, as I said, but as far as big public scenes, I can take them or leave them alone. I don't mind doing them, but it doesn't really add anything for me to have a big audience. So I put myself down as an alternate for the Hypnosis Showcase. This was the demonstration/show that sort of "replaced" the stage hypnosis show as an experiment this year. They were desperate I guess so I got slotted. :)

I wanted to do something a little bit different, and a lot evil, and I had already arranged to play with confessor_k that evening. She is a fantastic subject and due to her, um, personal inclinations, I thought she'd be perfect for what I had in mind. So I asked and she accepted. Right before we went on, I gave her some sample physical sensations and with only indirect waking suggestion associated them with particular movements of my hands. Yes, she is that good.

Then when we went up, I said to the audience, "This will be rather boring. We're just going to sit in these chairs" - I had had them put two folding chairs facing each other at opposite ends of the "stage" - "… and stare at each other." So I sat her down and just tapped her in a few places… which had the effect of hypnotically binding her to her seat. (Remember, there were NO POST-HYPNOTIC SUGGESTIONS used during that entire scene. That was all indirect suggestion and some revivification of memory. That's it. She's good, I said.)

Once we were all settled, I just held up my hands and started making gestures while looking at various parts of her body.

Stare at her breasts… hold out my hand… squeeze my fingers and twist…

Look at her thighs… make little rubbing motions…

Just look at her evilly and CLAP my hands… what a lovely jump, an expression of sweet agony…

This went on for quite some time, and at some point she made a particularly pained face. I couldn't help myself:

"We're just warming up, you know. We've only been up here for like two minutes. Long way to go."

Her eyes opened a bit wider and she looked at the stage lights, which (and my compliments to whoever set this up, that was extremely clever) were green for the scene, turned blue when you had three minutes left, and white when your time was up. At that point by my estimate we'd been on stage for closer to ten minutes.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yes. Those lights are going to turn blue in a second, and then we can get started."

"Wha… that's not how it goes!"

"Yes, it is. Green is for warming up, and blue is for go."

She looked at the audience frantically. They had been very quiet but when she said, "Somebody tell me he's lying!" some obliging soul said, "Nope, he's not."

Then she looked at me and told me I was evil. I replied, "You want to say bad things about me? Fine. I think you'll find you can't stop making fun of me." *snap*

And even though she is terrified of me, and is usually one of the nicest, most pleasing submissives you could want, she started mocking me. They weren't Rickles-grade insults, she was a little out of it. But she did it, even though after every one something hideous happened to her. That woman has the heart of a lion.

After a few minutes I said, "Okay, the light's about to turn white and we can start."

She came out of it a little again and said, "No! That's not right!"

I said, "Yep, blue for warm up, white to tell you to go. I hope you're ready."

Just then - I wonder if the person running the lights didn't do it on purpose - the light changed white and she almost screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" There was general laughter and I told her I was, in fact, fooling her. Then we went and sat in the cool-down area. People were afraid to applaud but I told them it was all right - and in fact, it was, for once I hadn't done anything and the applause was just applause to her. So I think we were a big hit. I was honored to have such a good subject for my demonstration. Thank you, confessor_k.

After that it was just hanging out and doing what you do at hypnosis play parties until I went back to the hotel for a private scene which was very memorable and amazing despite the personal matter which did cause some disruption and discomfort and for which I am eternally sorry, and very grateful that in the end those involve managed to give me grace. I must sincerely thank those who were kind enough to help, including but not limited to AmHypnotic and MentalConfetti. I was serious about that dinner, guys. You only have to ask. Thank you.

Next: Saturday!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

NEEHU 5: Day One (Thursday)

(Note: I recycled the intro material from my NEEHU 4 posts, because hey, intro material is intro material.)

I returned from NEEHU5, the Fifth Annual New England Erotic Hypnosis (Un)Conference Monday night. It was four of the best days in recent memory and certainly high up on the list of best four-day periods of my life. :) As much for my own recollection as for those who may be interested in the event (tl;dr: GO TO THE NEXT ONE AND ALL THE ONES AFTER THAT. JUST DO IT.) I present this highly subjective account of the experience.

This gets long so I am breaking it up by days.

Please note that while I will usually skip this part in the interest of, well, interest, before I tranced ANYBODY, I did the prudent thing and asked, appropriate to context, about injuries, triggers, etc, etc. Hypnosis is safe and effective and ridiculously fun but you do need to take care with it as with any activity.

Please also note that if I am not naming you as a subject or someone who said or did something, it is because I do not know if you want me to identify you. If I am mentioning you but not naming you, it means I thought you were interesting enough to mention but am not entirely certain that you wanted to be so you will remain anonymous. This absolutely includes people who may be mentioned by name otherwise but who I did not want to associate with a particular situation without clearance.

Thursday

I got up at 4 AM (I packed the night before) to make a 6:45 flight. The whole way to the airport I was praying: "Please don't snow. Please don't snow. Please don't snow." It worked, although I found out later that the airport canceled a lot of flights later in the day due to thunderstorms. So go me.

The flight was uneventful and a few hours later I got to Hartford and called the hotel shuttle. Just like last year the hotel was topnotch. The staff was friendly and was extremely accommodating to us. This year they even put up a sign!



I'd stay there again in a heartbeat. I waited outside for the shuttle and the weather pattern of the weekend was set: it was cold and windy. Just like last year, only this year, it also rained. And THEN snowed. More on that later.

I got up to my room, unpacked, and logged in to see if anyone else was there. As people started to straggle in I tried to get somebody to go have lunch with me, eventually ending up with sleepingirl, as well as DaSade and CC, who I was delighted to meet. We had a nice lunch and discussed, um, mostly music. ;) Then we zinged back to their house and DaSade was nice enough to loan me a USB cable - the ONE type I hadn't brought was, of course, what I needed to charge my phone and my micro projector. *facepalm* So thanks again!

Then we went back to my room and hung out waiting for Mephki so we could plan the Epic Costco Run. (Every year there is an Epic Costco Run. If you don't think Costco can be epic, you don't know Mephki.) By and large we ended up with sleepingirl, DaSade, CC, then HerderofCats aka Pynchon wandered in, then MsMesmer, and finally HypnoTy. We all hung out and had a delightful getting-to-know and/or good-to-see you session. (MsMesmer had just visited me in Chicago the week before!) I think somebody else might also have come in (SirVice???) but those are the ones I remember right now.

Eventually Mephki showed up and we helped her unpack what she'd brought, and then it was off to Costco. And there was much searching/buying/planning. Pynchon was kind enough to act as general food-runner (Thanks for the hotdog!) and we actually didn't leave quite so hungry as last time especially after a round of churros. (The official Mexican pastry of NEEHU!) IIRC it was Mephki, me, SweetGasp (Who looks just as attractive, but much younger, in person. Weird.) Pynchon, Weshare, Dasade, Sleepingirl, and CC. We made quite the parade and got almost as many stares as we did last year. Which is half the fun!

Most people went to the Society, the fetish space where NEEHU takes place, to unload groceries after we left Costco. But I'd left MsMesmer at the hotel (she hadn't gotten much sleep) and also, we were running a little behind and I wanted to make sure I was in the pool area by nine for the traditional pre-NEEHU hot tub party. :) If you're in by nine, you can stay, and you can open the door for people, but the door will not open from the outside with card keys after nine, so somebody has to be in there. As sleepingirl so graciously put it, I was doing God's work.

A quick ride back and I met up with MsMesmer. After some idle banter we headed for the hot-tub area, to find some lovely NEEHUVIANS already there. Again IIRC, it was cu_faoil and TernAbout who were already there or got there shortly after we did. The delightful Skyla was in the pool as well. So there was much bouncing about and happy excited chatter as we all realized that we were finally at NEEHU.

After the hot-tubbing, we went up to the con suite and hung out some more, meeting and greeting more friends old and new. I forget who all I hypnotized, but I know I hypnotized more than one person, and they know who they are. ;) At some point, somehow, I ended up in Mephki's room with a few other people, eating noodle soup and watching somebody get triple-teamed. He was a happy, happy fellow indeed! I don't trance for other people, nor am I submissive, and even I was like, "That looks pretty sweet." The marvelous Lee Allure was gracious enough (not that she's ever not gracious) to do me a favor and perform her delightful "That's not funny" suggestion on someone… and somebody who was watching got too close and got ricocheted. Serves you right! :)

Then I had a scene, not too long but intense and amazing, with somebody very special to me who looked really, really blissed out when we were done. Which was good, because it was bedtime. And off to bed we went.

Next: Friday!

Back from NEEHU 5!

As per usual I will be writing a blog summary of my trip to an EHU (that's my third one already!) This is just a placeholder while I write it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

On Toy Traps, High Heels, and The Nature of The Universe

I haven't been blogging much but to offer you a small sliver, a morsel short but sweet, of entertainment, here's a comment I made on Chuck Wendig's blog. He wrote a list of things you should know about life with toddlers which was dead on, really. One of the things he mentioned was "toy traps," e.g. stepping on a Duplo block in the dark. My response:

True about the toy traps. But take comfort, gentle host, in that while if your son wants to play with dolls that's totally cool, it is unlikely that anyone will give him any Barbie dolls. I say that not because boys shouldn't have Barbie dolls, but rather because NO ONE SHOULD HAVE BARBIE DOLLS. Not just because in most of her incarnations she is a mindless dweeb, but because of the...

Shoes.

Oh, God, the shoes. The tiny little shoes which, if ninjas were real, would feature prominently in their arsenals. Duplos? Legos? I laugh. Ha, ha, I laugh. I have three sisters, one of whom was into Barbies and the other two of whom were actual Barbie addicts, if you removed their stash and didn't allow the plastic to leach into their skin for more than eight hours they were cursing and puking all over the place, you feel me? And every Barbie doll comes with at least one pair of shoes and a small hidden matter-condenser that causes her to randomly create shoes on the floor in her vicinity.

And dear God in Heaven, you step on a Barbie shoe heel-up in the dark - which you will, that is the only way that quantum mechanics allows Barbie shoes to be oriented in the dark - you will wish the ninjas had merely unleashed their poisoned caltrops on your sorry soles. SWEET MOTHER OF MATTEL THAT SHIT HURTS. Especially since you are half-asleep and not expecting it (no matter how many times it happens, nobody expects the Barbie Night-Shanking.) You're just trying to get to bed without tripping on the Barbie Dream-House, Dream-Car, Dream-Kitchen, Dream-Pornoporium, or whatever else the effing grandmothers have bought that day, and a tiny little sliver of plastic hell-stuff inserts itself into your heel and heads for your circulatory system.

But that is NOT the worst part.

Oh, no.

The worst part is that when you manage to remove the thing, and toss it into the night with a vicious curse as it so richly deserves, it will immediately vanish, and the next morn, some angel-eyed little girl with adorable sleep-tousled hair will say, "Where's Barbie's other shoe?"

"There are fourteen thousand, six hundred and ninety-eight Barbie shoes in that bin over there, conveniently sorted by color and lethality."

"No, her other blue shoe. I want her to wear these shoes."

"I don't kn..."

"FIND ME BARBIE'S OTHER SHOE OR I WILL TELL MOM YOU TOOK IT AND THEN I WILL CONSUME YOUR SOUL, PUNY MORTAL."

And since the things have quantum-filament heels that don't cause much bleeding - or perhaps just directly leeches your blood into another, even darker dimension - you can't even use a blood trail to find it but you must spend an hour uprooting the family room trying to find the shoe which tried to kill you the night before, and you learn what the phrase "adding insult to injury" really means.

So. As I said. Be grateful.